Is that Sully from Dr.Quinn Medicine Woman I see before me?

Just got in from an evening out in Clarke Quay, an area next to the river that is popular with both locals and expats. It was a pretty strange experience, a Disneyland of bars, restaurants and clubs that revealed how town planning gets done these days. The place oozed the cold corporate determination that could only come from a bunch of suits in a boardroom brainstorming 'just exactly what it is kids want these days'.

Answer? A bar where people sit in gold spray-painted wheelchairs, drinking fluorescent liquid from test tubes and IV drips (Why let the physically impaired have all the fun?!); an ‘Asian-inspired’ bar (if Asia was a steakhouse in hell) all dark batchelor pad interiors reminiscent of bad Malmaison hotels, with the added bonus of a plethora of pornographic up the skirt panty shots alongside regular performances from the 'Coyote Dolls'; and finally a bar that was originally intended to be a Beatles style vintage affair, but has ended up hosting a rock tribute band that play all the hits from the 80s- and Linkin Park... but more of that later.

The day had started off much more civilly, with a trip to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve in the north of Singapore. It’s one of the country’s best-preserved rainforest and I loved being underneath the canopy of the foliage, with that gorgeous earthy smell permeating the humid air. Some of the trees were so enormous it was awe-inspiring. I know it sounds corny, but there’s something so restorative and soul-soothing about being surrounded by old trees in dappled sunlight. I tried to catch a glimpse of the elusive flying lemur (‘winged avenger of the night, taunting gravity…’) but didn't get lucky this time.

We next took a little walk at the Dairy Farm- no longer such, but named after the colonisers who couldn’t quite pallet the local buffalo milk and decided to ship in their own black and white Daisys. The Singapore government has turned what was once a quarry into a breathtaking lake where endangered birds like the Little Grebe and White Bellied Sea Eagle are now beginning to thrive. Ah, I love it when a plan comes together.

We then headed back into the centre of town for a spot more greenery in the shape of the Botanical Gardens. Beautifully landscaped by some British chaps, who loved Kew Gardens so much they decided to do something similar over here. The standout bit for me was the Celebrity Orchid Garden; a place that dedicated orchids to the best people on the planet. I was lucky enough to see the big three: Jackie Chan, Lady Diana and Margaret Thatcher. (No Hitler?) My other favourite orchid name was the Golden Shower. Don’t know why. At lunch I enjoyed a Singaporean classic dish of chilli crab spaghetti as well as a delicious and refreshing Ginger jive, made of fresh ginger, fruit punch, orange and honey. Zowy!

Another siesta later I headed out to the Civic District where the statues of Sir Stamford Raffles (or Razzer as I like to call him), the founder of Singapore, stand among the city’s oldest buildings near the river. Evening meal consisted of huge tiger prawns with chillied asparagus and rice- eaten outdoors with a cocktail of course.

And so we’ve come full circle, ending the evening at Clarke Quay. But before I go I just want to share with you my favourite member of the rock band, a bassist who looked like an Asian Steve Buscemi (amazing drunken best man speech in The Wedding Singer: 'Best man? The better man!'). And that wasn’t even the best bit; take a closer look at his forearm, is that a tattoo of Sully from Dr.Quinn Medicine Woman??

See you tomorrow, same time, same place? Yes in my office after school...