After that a visit to China Town, red lanterns and pineapple paper ornaments galore. The shops are all in front of the people’s houses and sell anything from camera equipment (“Hey! Nice camera, come inside, look is free!”) to tailored Chinese dresses, yellow cats with bobbing arms a la Churchill dogs that apparently ‘call’ luck to the owner, and Chinese medicine- bottled snake for your virility, anyone? We next headed up to the Chinese wet market- this is where the locals buy all their fresh ingredients. The smell was overpowering at first as there are copious amounts of raw fish out in the open in 30 degree heat, but it was nothing a girl hardened to the horrors of Morrisons on Sutton High Street couldn't handle.
That was until Augustar pointed out a cage of green frogs, alive and sliding slowly over each other, blinking slowly from between the metal bars… this then morphed into buckets of eels writhing entwined over eachother in a fashion not unlike a Bushtucker trial, then turtles in tiny boxes of water. And just when I thought the endless kaleidoscope of horror couldn’t get any worse, it happened: a seemingly sedate old man suddenly raised his arm aloft clutching a large paddle, bringing it down with the fury of a thousand women scorned onto the head of a huge rubbery fish, writhing on the floor- a Talented Mr Ripley murder for the fish world. I couldn’t help it, before I knew it a howl that could kick off a fox hunt had escaped my lips. I’ll never forget the look of abject disgust that old man fixed on me. And yet I couldn’t look away, as the blood spattered the white-grey tiles and the paddle came down once more. Heart racing, wussy tears ready to flow we made a speedy exit...
...Past the old Chinese men playing Chinese chess, drinking and chatting and into the Buddhist temple, which was splendidly ornate. Huge gold Buddha statues dominated the main room with people kneeling to pray in front of the statue. Afterwards a trip to Armenian Street to enjoy Peranakan cuisine- a mixture of Chinese, Malay and Indian influences. Standout choices were the banana and starflower salad and fried red snapper.
Utterly exhausted and time for a siesta (in which I dreamt about conducting an affair with Prince, who incidentally spoke with a Yorkshire accent). Next stop- the Singapore flyer, the world’s largest observation wheel for optimum Singapore skyline views as the sun set behind the skyscrapers in a pink haze. This was followed by a boat ride down the Singapore river on a vintage bumboat, where we sauntered past colonial buildings, mixed with the dominating skyscrapers. The thrill of the skyline down there was wonderful and intoxicating- especially when coupled with air that is still warm into the evening.
To end the night we went to a Lau Pa Sat, a former wet marker that is now a favourite food centre- bizarrely it was constructed with iron imported from Glasgow, who knew? I ate huge prawns that had been marinated in chilli paste then barbecued, finger suckingly fabulous; a fat noodle dish with mini prawns and- you’re not going to believe this- Stingray. My guide had ordered 'fish'. Ignoring the urge to leap 50ft from the thing, and trying to get ‘Stingraaayyyyy stingraaay do do do’ out of my head, I tried it. Wrapped in banana skin and charcoaled to moist, chillied, fleshy perfection I have to say it was delicious. This was all washed down with a pitcher of Tiger beer to the sounds of Michael Jackson and Led Zeppelin and later a Chinese Mama Cass and mullet-bestowed guitarist live band who earnestly harmonised to Ronan Keating and Funky Town. Magic.
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